There is you. Then there's the promise of who you could be. But what if you aren't who you think you are? Margo Gremmler bends the rules to get by. The only way to make an honest living is to be criminal. The draw back?
Guilt can be a bitch.
Guilt can be a bitch.
Margo Gremmler is a real life person. She has wild red hair and a personality that
Paul Phillips owns a book store in the land Down Under. He writes horror and has a great sense of humor. He generously donated a good portion to the Evanston Library, and he fit the bill, so as a surprise, I wrote him in as the character Detective Phillips.(Please don't sue me!)
Big Thank You to the editing services of Karen Schindler who helped smooth out the choppiness and Sean Monaghan for reading and awesome feedback. There is an anonymous reader too, you know who you are, and you know how grateful I am.
21 comments:
Jodi - what a fun read. So many perfect characters. Margo definitely got what she asked for (the real, extremely generous Margo) - although I now have doubts about where her donation money came from :) You have created what can most definitely be a running series with this piece. So very well done!!!
PS: I am humbled that you included me in your (Margo's) story - what I did wasn't much, but being "in the biz" and a voracious reader, I couldn't stand by and watch something like that happen!! And, you are in no danger of being sued :)
A LOT of fun. Margo is a kick-arse woman indeed. Good deeds by all. Peace...
Thanks, Paul! You know, now that you mention it, we're going to have to ask Margo about that $$. HA. It was great of you to donate to a library in your yesterday (you're in tomorrow already right?) And... thanks for not suing me.
Linda ~ Margo is (the real and the imagined). Thanks for reading and glad you had fun.
Fun! At the end I wanted to insert a dramatic ...dum dum dummmmmmmmmmm..... then some old fashioned organ music with a voiceover of "tune in next week for the continued adventures of ..."
very cool my dear.
:0)
Haha, I think that would be appropriate, Karen. ;-D Thanks for your help, Karen!
I wanna take Margo out for some bourbon ... ;) Excellent, excellent tale, Jodi... You have a great (literary) character started...
How wonderful, Jodi! I love it :)
The opening really draws me in, and the dialogue carries me through. I prefer a little more description, but the strong dialogue and narrative makes up. In a couple transitions, I felt momentarily lost until enough filled in placing the characters. The snagged skirt is a wonderful pause, a fresh breath, setting up the following scene. A fun read with a great ending.
On presentation, the font is perfect, and the simple background image fits. While scrolling, the diagonal lines of the image tends to pull the eyes from the page.
I enjoyed the story.
Ant and Estrella -- thank you!
David,
I really appreciate your thorough critique. It's so great to know what worked and what didn't work for the author. Glad you liked the scene with the detective & Margo, seems to be a hit.
Sorry about the pull on the eyes, that was actually intentional. I thought it represented the story well. Illusions. Thanks again!
Jodi, Jodi, Jodi!
I'm basically speechless. Oh, wait, no I'm not. I LOVED this, and you're a rockstar. (My feet hurt a little while I was reading, but it's alright.)
I'm not the only one (by a long stretch) you've impressed with WildCard, but I'm certainly the most honored.
When can we all read more?!
Anthony, let me know how that bourbon date goes. ;)
Woo! Glad you loved it, Margo. And I have to say, nothings better than having your own character love you. ;p
More? Let's see here. How much is worth to you that you're girl here gets out of trouble, wins the guy, and Stew remain unharmed? So before I answer your question, maybe you should check your savings account, equity in your house, your fav shoes...ect.
<3
My stuff's in order. Baby needs a new pair of Converse All-Stars, though. :(
Have you ever seen The Game, Jodi? This whole thing is starting to remind me of that.
In fact, new nice income source for writers: writing rich people into their stories (unlike myself, and not to benefit libraries!). Like portraits in the 1700s...
One word: more! :D
Love that movie, Margo. Are you still scared? I hope so. We need to keep you on your toes. Thanks, hon (and buy your baby those shoes)
Hey Mari!
Thanks for reading, hon. Trust me, there's lots more where this came from. *evil laugh* *squashes spider* *laughs again*
Awesome Jodi. Great work on this, so well paced and controlled, and just scary. Actually reminded me a bit of Hancock in reverse.
s
Thank you, Sean! (I love that you use the word Scary. BOO!)
Psst, there's a fabulous award waiting for you at Randomities. ;) http://bit.ly/plethora_award
Ah, tonight I had the idea for a spidery flash. Your fault! heh
Thank you so much, Mari! Very sweet of you. <3
Sharp writing, rich in atmoshere. Well done.
Thank you, David! ;-)
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