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"Beware that, when fighting monsters, you yourself do not become a monster... for when you gaze long into the abyss. The abyss gazes also into you." ~ Friedrich W. Nietzsche


Hello!

This site still receives a lotta traffic. Thank you for your continued interest.

I am still currently writing horror/suspense/pulp only in longer form. Visit my alter ego HERE for continued updates and current fiction. And please, you can call me Jodi or whatever you called me before I went all nom de plume.

Thanks for the years of loyal friendship and support.


Saturday, November 5, 2011

Black, White and Red All Over at In Between Altered States


Santa Muerte takes us to Jerusalem in "Black, White, and Red All Over" at In Between Altered States. The theme this month is salvation, and its always neat to read all the contributions together. The collective subconscience is amazing when a group of people are asked to write on a similiar subject.


Sincere Thank You to editor, Aleathia Drehmer.



Also, special thank yous to Sean Monaghan, Angel Zapata, and Lori Titus for the write ups they've done for "Mantra" and "Free Mercury" this last month. And extra appreciation to Erin Cole & Chris Allinotte for their encouragement and to others for reviews on Pulp Ink & Laughing at the Death Grin! anthologies and my stories within.  I don't know what I'd do without the support of my writing family. 

Monday, October 31, 2011

"Free Mercury" at Beat to a Pulp





Horror.

Some think a Mantra can keep it from happening to them, others induce it into sick Halloween Games. It often bumps in the night casting shadows against the walls, hiding under your bed with a knife.  Sometimes, though, horror is a simple melt of our vulnerabilities over blistering hot lava.

The only hope is to "FREE MERCURY"




Thank you, as always, to the wonderful editor of Beat to a Pulp, David Cranmer.

Happy Halloween!

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Pulp Metal Fiction Anthology ~ Laughing At The Death Grin

What goes through your mind when you think of PULP METAL MAGAZINE? It's like a ouja board of the dirty spirits of pulp, Slayer, bleeding scars, time balloons rising up up and way. And when the balloons pop, out frolic the likes of Melanie Browne, Ian Ayris, Chris Rhatigan,  Richard Godwin, UV Ray, Charlie Coleman, Frank Duffy, myself, and many others.

"Laughing At The Death Grin!" is one collection of classics you don't want to miss. Many thanks to PMM dictator and editor, Jason Michel. Purchase at $.99 for limited time.




Sunday, October 2, 2011

"Mantra" at All Due Respect



What do you do when their whispers build to screams? When they crawl from front to back asking the same questions over and over? The serpent knows, so does the old bird.


at All Due Respect

Many, many thanks to ADR founding Editor,
Alec Cizak, for publishing Mantra, his wonderful support, and lovely introduction.










P.s. Every October someone loses a head around my house, my fictional character's house, that is. This story is one of what I am beginning to call my 2 AM stories. The images and thoughts 'Mantra' stirred kept me awake til dawn, not writing it, but the mere disturbing nature of it all. I hope you find the story just as deliciously frightful. Sweet dreams. ~ J. Mac



Monday, September 26, 2011

'Decoding Tarantino' Grand Prize Winner




Thank you to all those who participated in the Decoding Tarantino PULP INK contest! 

Congrats to Grand Prize Winner 


You win a $25 Amazon card and tons of Bubblegum.

You know, I can't remember when I began to read Chris's stories, but when I did, I was hooked. What has always stood out for me is his unique way of looking at the world. His stories have a different twist than one expects. He also can flip flop from one genre to the next with the ease of a trapeze artist. I really admire that. Check out his works of the horror, speculative, and bizarre at his website.



THE Tarantino Quote revealed:


For those who missed it, PULP INK is full of fantastic pulp and noir stories. You can get just a taste of the work in the book by reading Ian Ayris's story "Surf Rider" here.

XXX

Also, stay tuned for two fresh stories due out this October. 
One will spin your head, the other twist your gut... just in time for the season.

XXX

Monday, September 19, 2011

Contest: Decode Tarantino and Win Gum!



The Deal

So, nothing has gone like it was supposed to this summer. I could give you big, fat, sucky, juicy details, but I’d rather give you Juicy Fruit and talk pulp—PULP INK, that is. Nigel Bird and Chris Rhatigan invited me to be apart of their inspired, demented project last spring and I jumped aboard. Each author was provided a soundtrack title from Tarantino’s movie “Pulp Fiction” and asked to take their own spin. I was given “Jack Rabbit Slims” and had a blast writing it.  I was tickled to pieces reading this entire collection, and not only reading, but giggling away like a mad woman on a wild word hunt BECAUSE:


The Decoding

I have a Tarantino movie quote for you to uncover using the hints provided below. You don’t have to purchase PULP INK to participate in this contest, but it would help! You can purchase PULP INK at Amazon, B&N, and Smashwords.



The Prize

The first five people to decode the quote will win a pack of Black Jack, Juicy Fruit, Big Red, and  Bubble Yum automatically! All entrees will be entered for a random drawing. The Grand Prize Winner will receive a $25 Amazon card along with the afore mentioned bubblegum-ages.


The Rules

1. Send your decoded entrees to my regular email address:  jessjo (at) gmail (dot) com  with the subject heading of  BUBBLE YUM.

2. I will reply with a “Yay, you got it!” or “Loser! Back to the drawing board!” quickly as I can.

3. Everyone is welcome to play. Send as many entrees as you wish. Of course, stop when you get it right.

4. Cheat as much as you want with two exceptions: A. Don’t ask a  friend who has figured out what the quote is -- Bad! Bad! B. Please don’t paste your decoding entree guess as a comment in this blog post, send to me in an email under the BUBBLE YUM subject line. I would love to hear your fav Tarantino quotes in the comment section, however.

5. You have until midnight next Sunday. Winner announced next day.


The Bubble

Why does bubble gum keep coming up? First, I really love the thought of all my fellow readers and writers blowing gigantic Bubble Yum bubbles while nurses with big butterfly nets chase us around the gardens, down the valleys, over the bridges, and through the woods to grandmother’s house we… scratch that. There’s another reason, but you have to read “The $5 Mil Hak” in PULP INK to decode that.



Enough chat, more action: GO



The Blankety Blank Blank Tarantino Quote




The Word Hits Hints


1. The first word of the thirteenth paragraph of
    The Wife of Gregory Bell by Patricia Abbott


2. The first two letters of the second word of the first sentence of the ninth paragraph of
    Your Mother Should Know by Allan Guthrie


3.  First letter of the second word of the first sentence of the first paragraph of
     Zed’s Dead, Baby by Eric Beetner

     Second letter of the first word of the first sentence of the third paragraph of
     You Never Can Tell by Matthew C. Funk

     Third letter of the second word of the first sentence the first paragraph of
     A Corpse by Any Other Name by Naomi Johnson


4.  First word of the first sentence of the third paragraph of
     If Love is a Red Dress – Hang Me in Rags by Michael J. Solender

5. Eight word of the second sentence of the second paragraph of
    The Creation of Ice by Sandra Seamans

6. The first three letters of the fourth word of the first sentence of the first paragraph of
    The October 17 Economic Development Committee Meeting by Chris Rhatigan

7. Eleventh word of the first sentence of the second paragraph of
    This Little Piggy by Hilary Davidson

8. Third word of the first sentence of the fourth paragraph of
    Jungle Boogie by Kate Horsely

9. Last six letters of the sixth word of the fifth sentence of the fourth paragraph of
    Jack Rabbit Slim’s Cellar
    The $5 Mil Hak by Jodi MacArthur


10. Third word of the first sentence of the sixth paragraph of
      A Corpse by Any Other Name by Naomi Johnson


11. First two letters of the second word of the fifth paragraph of
      A Whole Lotta Rosie by Nigel Bird

12. Third word of second sentence of second paragraph of
      Padre by AJ Hayes


13. The second and third letters in the sixth word of the first sentence of
      Threshold Woman by Richard Godwin


14. Fourth word of fifth paragraph of
      Comanche by Jason Duke


15. Eighteenth word of the fourth sentence of the fourth paragraph of
      Requiem for Spider by Reed Farrel Coleman

16. First word of the first sentence of the third paragraph of
      A Night at the Royale by Chris F. Holm



17.  The fifth word of the fifth sentence of the fifth paragraph of
       The Slicers’ Serenade of Steel by Gary Phillips


18. First word of the third sentence of the first paragraph of
      The Lady & The Gimp: A Peter Ord Investigation by Paul D. Brazill


19. Ninth word of the third sentence of first paragraph of
      Clouds in a Bunker by David Cranmer


20. First word of the sixth sentence of the third paragraph from the end of
      If Love is a Red Dress – Hang Me in Rags by Michael J. Solender
      Hint: the word is the same as in word 24



21. The first three letters of the fifteenth word of the second sentence of the first paragraph of
      Surf Rider by Ian Ayris

22. Fifth word of the first sentence of the seventeenth paragraph of
      Misirlou by Jimmy Callaway


23. Second word of the third paragraph of
      Zed’s Dead, Baby by Eric Beetner


24. Ninth word of the seventh sentence of third paragraph from the end of
      If Love is a Red Dress – Hang Me in Rags by Michael J. Solender
      Hint: the word is the same as in word 20


25. Tenth word of first sentence of eighth paragraph of 
      The Only One Who Could Ever Reach Me by Matt Lavin


26. Sixth word of the the eighth paragraph of
      You Never Can Tell by Matthew C. Funk


27. First letter of the fourth word of the first sentence of the first paragraph of
     Redlining by Jim Harrington

      Third letter of the fourth word of the first sentence of the first paragraph of
      Redlining by Jim Harrington

       The third and fourth letters of the seventh word of the first sentence of the first paragraph of
       Redlining by Jim Harrington 
        






Saturday, September 10, 2011

I'm BACK

I was buried alive this summer! And I'm digging my way out. Sorry for neglecting all of you, but shoveling out from six feet deep is no easy task (ha ha- I know, I know.) I'm hoping to be at 100% over the next few months. No more disappearances are planned.

So, the next few weeks I promise to catch up on emails, beta reads, blogs, social networking,  ect...

And I'm back in the game with stories coming out in all sorts of places where the sun rarely shines. In a few days, I'll be pimping an antho that has already been out a few weeks with a fun contest that includes prizes and bubble gum. Stay tuned!

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Trailer Snuff at 5x5 Fiction

Angel Zapata has created a fiction puzzle challenge! And he's done a monster mash up job editing:

Issue 2 of 5x5 Fiction: Secrets, Scuffles and Surprises

The reads are quick stabs of entertainment, but are writing them? Trailer Snuff  took me a couple weeks. When Angel first announced the zine six months back, I thought a complete (good) story in five words by five sentences would be easy enough. But... nah. Might as well tie my tooth to a string, the other end to a knob and slam the door.  On the other hand, I love a good challenge and reading others bites of creations are fun. After reading this (Crazy, Fun, Warped) issue, I challenge you to read the sub guidelines and work up a 5x5.

Big Thanks to Angel  for publishing my work.


XXX

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Durable Goods Issue 40 & Wicked Woman's Booty #8

 Have you heard of Durable Goods? Let me tell you about this gem. Editor Aleathia Drehmer invites two unknowing writers (or poets) to participate in a particular issue. She puts their work together (it reminds me of spin the bottle!) then writes a ribbon wrapping poem that unites the two pieces. When I recieved my microzines in the mail today, I couldn't wait to read which poem mine (called "Shiner") had been paired with.  "We Look Better In Ruins" is written by FD Marcel. I was simply amazed at our synchronicity. Powerful. Aleathia's addition "There Is More Than a Disconnect" is vivid and balancing. Just wow.

Isn't that a gorgeous cover?

To find out about submissions, invitations, or subscriptions (You know you want this months issue!) Go Here. Also, Aleathia slipped in my envelope a handwritten quote that quite touched my heart. Wonderful gal. Big thank you.











AND






WWB #8: The Skeleton Grave Digger


Can you figure out at which island The Wicked Woman's anchored? Rubies and Diamonds for the first respondarrrr!




Friday, May 20, 2011

SpinTop - Swan on the Rocks at Flashes in the Dark


your dark is my poetry 
mirrors break like sanity 
the shards, they echo 
they tell a story 
I listen


SpinTop - Swan on the Rocks



It's been awhile since I've written an absurd horror, so here's a little piece for you. I hope it touches a place deep down, because that's where it was written from.


Thank you, as always, to the wonderful Lori Titus of Flashes in the Dark.

Friday, April 29, 2011

Wicked Woman's Booty Reviewed!








AJ Hayes Reviews The Wicked Woman's Booty over at Chris Rhatigan's Death By Killing. Check it out here!

Thank you to both of you!















Creepy pic, huh? This and the one from the last blog I took at the border carnivals they have all the time down here. Way different than the ones they have up north.

XXX

Thursday, April 28, 2011

How I Came To Write This Story At Patti Abbott's & Pimpin' My HomeGirls!





Patti Abbott was very kind to invite me to write for her "How I Came To Write This Story" guest series on her blog. You can guess by the pic what story I chose. Hint: Garrrrr! Click Here to read.

Thank you, Patti! And sorry about the late posting of this. I must have confused the dates.






Pimpin' My HomeGirls, Yo
I've been missing my writerly girlfriends and gradually catching up on what they're up too (very sneakly) (I think) (maybe not) (whatever) AND just wanted to brag on them a bit. Enjoy:

~Carrie Clevenger's Crooked Fang releases their very song first demo and it rocks! Support their utter bad boy unsparkling awesomeness and buy me a shot of Wild Turkey. Wait. Buy their single!

~The brilliant Yelena Sable has written, produced, and directed a hilarious satiric short film! Watch it here.

~Lori Titus gives excellent advice on writing horror on her interview at The Chin Wag.

~Sandra Seamans has an excellent dark story at PMM called Death and Jelly Jars.
(Warning: she'll make you feel like a serial killer)

~May 1st, Erin Cole will be interviewing Spinetingler nominee Lily Childs on all sorts of dark horrors. Skeleton Candy for the soul! (Munch Yum Munch) Be sure to check it out.

Aleathia Drehmer's In Between Altered States celebrates its first year anniversary! Congrats to the wonderful creator, ezine and authors.

~Also, breaking news has it Romeo, from the Bella Vista hotel, has released Pamila Payne from the dank basement of his mind. She is actively lurking about on social networking worlds. First beware, then say hello.


XXX

Monday, April 18, 2011

Interview at Spinetingler Magazine


Spinetingler Magazine's Brian Lindenmuth was very kind and awesome to ask me for a Conversations with the Bookless interview. It's up today.  If you can stand one more of my interviews, check it out here.

A handful of you have noticed I've slipped out of existence recently. The good news is that I AM still in existence, but caring for a loved one who has been in the hospital and is going through a very troubled and trying time right now. The adjustment has been difficult, and you probably won't see me online until May or so.

Do know that I am still writing and that my muse has been feasting more than ever on new things I've been learning. So I hope you all are keeping up (ha ha).

Miss you all!

J. Mac





You know you wanna. Vote for Pillow Talk
XXX

Monday, April 4, 2011

Dynamite Toss At Paul Brazill's!

Nigel Bird and Chris Rhatigan are holding up Paul Brazil's site with the mother load news of the century, if not the century, then at least of the summer. Yours truly was absolutely unable to resist when asked to participate, then about had a heart attack when I saw the list of names. These two gentlemen know how to knock'em dead. It's not even July, and you can feel the heat waves simmering from this lot.


Check out the big deal here





ps. Is your spine still tingling? Mine is. Vote for Pillow Talk
Read Yerself some WWB #7-- GARRRRR



XXX

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Vote for Pillow Talk & Get some Wicked Booty!

xxx

Quick post today as I'm busy, tired and ready to be beamed to nevernever land.

Polls for Spinetingler awards are OPEN.

To put it sweet & simple me swaggering sweethearts:

You afraid of the dark, Big Boy?
VOTE FOR ME. Please. And if not for me.
For Henrietta------------------------------------>

Read Pillow Talk
Flip on the lights
VOTE


PIRATES:
Wicked Woman's Booty #7 is up today at PMM


As always, THANK YOU for your support!

xxx

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Spinetingler Award Nominee

I just returned from no man's land to discover:



Yay! I would do a summersaults on my lawn if it had grass, weren't full of thorns, palm fronds, and baby mesquite trees. Not only am I shocked, surprised, blown away about the nomination but look what fantastic company I'm in!

Lily Childs, Matthew C. Funk, Nigel Bird, Steve Weddle, Jen Conley, Peter Swanson, Catherynne M. Valente, Dennis Tafoya.

Just Wow.

You can find all the story links available at the Spinetingler site HERE. Read up! Voting begins next week.

Many thanks to Beat to a Pulp editor David Cranmer for publishing Pillow Talk. I had no idea at the time how disturbing Henrietta would be on the audience's psyche, and how much they would enjoy it. (Freaks!)

xxx

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Godwin. King. MacArthur. Together on CNN. (Kinda)



And if that isn't exciting enough about that Brit writer who's taken the world by storm, I'm honored to say my book review, amongst others for Richard Godwin's Apostle Rising, has been mentioned on CNN. Holy Sheet Moly, Batman! Read this article and then go purchase the book! Your mind will thank you later.

xxx

Dancing With Myself At Sea Minor



Thanks to Nigel Bird for letting me get all Billy Idol and Dance With Myself over at Sea Minor.  As you can see here, I am a perfectly rational young woman simply doing what the voices in my head tell me to. Speaking of voices,  I just finished Nigel's collection of soulful noir Dirty Old Town, and absolutely recommend it.

Thanks for reading.

xxx

Monday, February 14, 2011

Art at Lily Childs' February Femmes Fatales

Lily childs' site is multifaceted and seeped deep in fears of the conscience and subconscious. Not only do I deeply admire Lily's thought provoking fiction, but I also admire her for providing a platform for others. This month she has nicknamed February Femmes Fatales. And the 'Femmes Fatales' she's showcased has blown me away with their talent. I'm excited to have engaged with new macabre women writers through Lily's site. Delicious to say the least.  


I am humbled and happy to have my story,  Art, featured today.





Thank you, Lily, not only for the story feature, but that hawt intro. Wow. I totally will write you into a Wicked Woman's Booty Episode for that!



I see a naked baby with wings, bow and a broken arrow pointed at butts! Whether you all are falling in or out of love, managing to maintain, or simply believe it doesn't exist: Happy Valentines!

And yes, the rumors are true. I'm caving and editing my novel, Xscents. I'll be sneaking around here and there, but mainly keeping to myself.  Thanks for all of yuor support!

Friday, February 4, 2011

Love Is... Winners




There is all this stuff I want to say about what you have written about what “Love is..”, but I’ll keep my mouth shut. Because it’s pure and perfect just the way you have said it.

Thank you for being vulnerable.

Thank you for opening your hearts and sharing.

Thank you for being the freaks you are. 
   (this does not include all of you, but most)

It means a lot to me, especially since I’ve known most of you, written with most of you, over several years. This was sort of a soul melt, mind crush, turn on experience. Being able to relate to each other like this makes the world spin and dollar store pens click.

The winner line was a easy pick, although I didn’t realize it at first. It is raw, honest, vulnerable. It slipped into a separate area of my mind none of the other lines touched. It hit a sweet, gnawing place like an over-rubbed scar. Does any of that make sense? Maybe not, but after sleeping on it, I knew this morning it was undoubtedly the winner.

The Winner of the $1 Rotating Love Message Pen Contest Is:

**
"Love is the regret you can't imagine life without." 
~ Bryan Doyon  

***

Bryan Doyon is a friend of a friend of John Wiswell. Bryan used to write, but hasn’t in a long time. So not only is he getting a pen, I’ll be sending him a notebook (from the dollar store, of course!). No more excuses. Congratulations, Bryan. Please let me know of your first publishing! I’ll be cheering for you.


2nd Place:
***  
"Love is settling for spooning when you really wanted a fork." 

***
This shines above all others like the north star. Witty, beautiful, naughty and brilliant. Sort of like Laurita herself.


3rd Place:
There were like 5 of you leap frogging over and over in my mind for third place. So, I took a lesson from King Solomon. I split the pen into five separate pieces. But then they grew legs and mouths, screamed and scuttled away. Solomon hadn't said anything about this. Briefly, I wondered if this is what The Queen of Sheba had come to ask him about. No one won third place. I'm sorry.


4th Place: 
***   
 "Love is a virus which cannot be inoculated against." 

***
I don’t have any more pens left. But David told me the other day, after dozens of one liners, which he is infamous for writing anyway, it wasn’t about the pen. It was about the secret of the universe. The secret of the universe wasn’t on the cheesy dollar store pen. But I found it on something else. So he’ll get that.


Honorable Mentions:
There are three types of people in the world. Those who can count and those who can’t. 
I have 10 Honorable mentions:

“Love is…the antibiotic applied to your lover’s wrists once the handcuffs are removed.”

"Love is....he not only doesn't mind your tentacles...he helps you thread them through the holes in your sweater." ~ Karen Schindler

“Love is a popsicle—lick it until it melts.” ~ Linda Simoni~Wastilla

"Love is always in the heart, even if you buried his in the backyard." ~ Erin Cole

“Love is the hot sauce that makes the taco of life worth eating." ~ Chris Allinotte

"Love is an anagram of vole, coincidentally the only monogamous rodent." 

"Love is...keeping dinner warm for 3 hours while I, "just finish this paragraph." 

"Love is...offering the 1st or last bite. Obsession is offering both." ~ Rob Lundahl

"Love is a sunrise." ~ Sean Monaghan

"Love is a howling snow storm...clouding your vision yet filling your heart with wonder."

"Love is the click of a pen." ~ Marilyn Simpson

"Love is the radiation that kills cynicism." ~ John Wiswell

"Love is...difficult. It gets in the way of all the fun stuff." ~ Jason Michel

"Love is for angels - and they have a devil of a time with it." ~ Kevin J Mackey

"Love is unrestricted access." ~ Daniel Stine

"Love is a pause, a quickened breath that makes your heart stutter." ~ Lori Titus

"Love is an itch you can't scratch yourself." ~ Trevor Mcpherson

"Love is upside down and inside out, taking the fun and scenic route, always and forever."
~ Nicole Hadaway

"Love is found in the 10 cent store but if you want that in writing it's 10 times more."

"Love is the opiate of the Misses." ~ Marc Nash

Read ALL "Love is..." one lines on the original post Here.

And finally, Love is… forever. I plan on putting up a link off to the side or eventually on top. People can continue to keep adding on to the “Love is…” list (previous blog) through comments or email, and I’ll keep adding to that blog post. I think it’s such a wonderful, powerful, random force, every line is precious and I’d like to keep it going. Each and every line contributed is valid, real, and important. Thank you everyone for your participation. 

Thank you to Lynn Alexander and Dave Mathewson for mentioning the original idea on Facebook.

~J. Mac



***

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Top News Story: Frosty pulls "The Big Icee" on San Antonio


2/3/11
SA End Of Times Reports: 
Using special 7-11 developed icee technology ‘Frosty Snowmans’ have gathered from around the world, using icee guns on  SA civilians. 


“Apparently,” Frederick Warren Jr. new deputy of Little Yarney, Texas,says, “They aim towards the frontal loburlar parts of the brain systems, causin’ the brainstems to remain intack. Therefore, the body keeps functionin’ like a lizard, but the rest is just nuked. Basically, what I’m tryin to say to ya’ll, is the body goes haywire. And people, start actin’ real strange. Like a zombie. In fact, most of ‘em are now. Zombies, that is. Zombies. The Frosty Apocalypse is upon us.”   


Special message from Lowes says, “Board up your windows! 10% off screws. Use tax refund $$$$.” Starbucks is handing out recyclable hand warmers. Jodi Mac is procrastinating choosing a dollar store pen winner. She will be posting sometime tomorrow afternoon. Laredo End Of Times reports three major drug cartels have gathered in peace to discuss the current condition. Shootings have been temporarily called off in the city. Long time resident, Rosalita Gonzales says,"The Frostys are such cold hearted bastards. I do not know where they come from, but they are not welcome in our city. And we will send our people after them." 


Temperature is 27 degrees. Weathermen say it may or may not warm up by tomorrow afternoon.


***

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Viva La Love Pen Click Message Flash Mob Contest

On Facebook, I wrote about my amusement at the dollar store with these click for love message pens. It brought on a million bucks worth of fun and laughs! At the urging of conspirerers & fellow pen clickerers :

We have a contest!


Love is.....


1. In one line I want you to describe to me what love is. Make it gushy, lovely, Lady Gaga bad romancy, give me a bang for my dollar store buck!

2. Send to: jessjo 33 at gmail dot com with love bug in the subject line. Also, you can post down below in comments section of this blog, or at Facebook. Be sure to have the words "Love is..."

3. Along with your one liner, send me your name (hyperlinked to your website if you choose). No anonymous one liners! If you write it. Own it.

4. Please don't quote movies or songs.

5. Submit as many times as you like!

6. I will post everything I receive (unless vulgar & gross- that will be deleted) right here in this post for us to oogle and wonder if it would really fit on a pen and what size a pen that would be. (hee!)(Talked about THAT at PMM last sunday.) If you don't see your one liner here, email it to me! I probably missed it in the ruckus.

7. Contest starts now until Feb 3rd. Winner announced next Friday on Feb 4th.

8. Winner(s?) will receive a Click Rotating Love Message Pen to give to their honey on Valentine's Day.


Magnetic Fields on the Playlist all damn week, baby! And YES. This is pointless literary fun. We spend so much time taking the craft seriously, let's play. Let the one liners begin!

*Contest Title credits given to Lynn Alexander and Doug Matthewson.




Love is...



"Love is a Date with a PORN STAR!!!" ~ Miketonio Banderas

"Love is a cruise on the Wicked Woman." ~ Aj Hayes

"Love is ...bwahahahaa!" ~ Mari Juniper

"Love is a virus which cannot be inoculated against." ~ David Raffin

"Love is an anagram of vole, coincidentally the only monogamous rodent."

"Love is a bottle of whiskey, the more of it you have, the more shit-faced you get."

"Love is found in the 10 cent store but if you want that in writing it's 10 times more.

"Love is....he not only doesn't mind your tentacles...he helps you thread them through the holes in your sweater." ~ Karen Schindler (Note: she likes big pens Pencils)

"Love is in the snapping jaws of cosmically intergalactic, invisible alligators."
(For Karen)

"Love is evolved from evil: live life, evolve." ~ Sean Monaghan

"Love is a sunrise." ~ Sean Monaghan

"Love is... lovers brushing." ~ Sean Monaghan

"Love is upside down and inside out, taking the fun and scenic route, always and forever." ~ Nicole Hadaway

"Love is an old wives tale" ~ Marc Nash

"Love is the opiate of the Misses" ~ Marc Nash

"Love is whatever Hallmark can rhyme it with" ~ Marc Nash

"Love is the correct concentration of chemical signals enabling the prospect of DNA being passed on." ~ Marc Nash

"Love is...the making of strange bedfellows." ~ Abha Iyengar

"Love is the antibiotic applied to your lover’s wrists once the handcuffs are removed." ~ Angel Zapata

"Love is having THE naked cupid (adult kind) lying beside you and not pointing an
arrow at your heart." ~ Mari Juniper

"Love is a howling snow storm...clouding your vision yet filling your heart with wonder." ~ Alan Davidson

"Love is elsewhere. It's never been here." ~ Marilyn Simpson

"Love is the click of a pen." ~ Marilyn Simpson

"Love is a room filled with chocolate." ~ Mariyln Simpson

"Love is a beast from the depths, risen." ~ David Raffin

"Love is tactile, making it hard to discern from a distance." ~ David Raffin

"Love is something I left somewhere and now cannot find." ~ David Raffin

"Love is something which, when given, is often not returned." ~ David Raffin

"Love is something that will make you strong– if it doesn't kill you." ~ David Raffin

"Love is only for the brave or foolish." ~ Willy Banger

"Love is breaking the surface and filling your lungs, just when you thought you were going to drown." ~ Willy Banger

"Love is...the banana on my cereal...the peanut butter on my toast...the curry on my goat." ~ Alan Davidson

"Love is a pause, a quickened breath that makes your heart stutter." ~ Lori Titus

"Love is knowing he's on the way home, and that in about four more hours last night's argument/snub/irritation won't matter anymore." ~ Lori Titus

"Love is irrational, inconvenient, divisive, and unfortunately altogether worthwhile."
~ John Wiswell

"Love is the radiation that kills cynicism." ~ John Wiswell

"Love is owing nothing and still wanting to give." ~ John Wiswell

"Love has a silent 'e' because it knows when to shut up." ~ John Wiswell

"Love is sharing your beer, and most definitely, your toothbrush." ~ Erin Cole

"Love is a slap of lightning, from which if you survive, you are never the same."
~ Erin Cole

"Love is always in the heart, even if you buried his in the backyard." ~ Erin Cole

"Love is an evolutionary imperative." ~ Jason Michel

"Love is...difficult. It gets in the way of all the fun stuff." ~ Jason Michel

"Love is... picking up smelly socks in silence." ~ Shannon O. Esposito

"Love is... a big ol' pot of organic veggie soup." ~ Shannon O. Esposito

"Love is... unclenching teeth, fists and expectations." ~ Shannon O. Esposito

"Love is for angels - and they have a devil of a time with it." ~ Kevin J Mackey

"Love is... the clashing of souls and minds, of tongues and teeth and of wobbly bits." ~ Lily Childs


"Love is... cleaning the whip for her after a good lashing." ~ Lily Childs


"Love is... a shag, a bucket of wine, and a dozen roses." ~ Lily Childs


"Love is... locking them in so they can't get away." ~ Lily Childs

"Love is... when it hurts so much to be apart you want to live inside each other's skin." ~ Lily Childs

"Love can move mountains...his standard fee is $69/hr." ~ Chris Allinotte

"Love is a tattoo you don't regret- even when it looks like cartoons f*cking."
~ Chris Allinotte

"Love is standing in front of each other, sweaty, dirty, ketchup stained and thinking, 'that's hot.' "~ Chris Allinotte

"Love is the hot sauce that makes the taco of life worth eating." ~ Chris Allinotte


"Love is silk stockings, lacy bras and stilletos - even when I let her wear them for a change." ~ Paul Phillips







"Love is a lie...no, wait - that's democracy." ~ Paul Phillips

"Love is overused, undervalued, overstated and underappreciated." ~ Paul Phillips

"Love is that feeling that makes you throw up on your shoes." ~ Paul Phillips

"Love is sweet and bitter, hard and soft, smooth and jagged, and the best and worst emotion two humans can share." ~ Zelda Martin

"Love is what a man claims to have for a woman, when actually he just wants to fuck her." ~ Zelda Martin

"Love is not for the faint of heart." ~ Zelda Martin

"Love is something that should be given only if it is returned." ~ Zelda Martin

"Love is a frequent cause of heartburn." ~ Zelda Martin

"Love is a word that cannot be defined, but we all know what it is when we experience it." ~ Zelda Martin

"Love is unrestricted access." ~ Daniel Stine

"Love is the kiss that follows the sting of the whip." ~ Carrie Clevenger



"Love is...keeping dinner warm for 3 hours while I, "just finish this paragraph."
~ Sam Adamson

"Love is...correcting homework at 3 a.m." ~ Sam Adamson

"Love is...cooking my favourite meal and not complaining when I'm too tired to

eat it." ~ Sam Adamson

"Love is...taking care of the little, fiddly, practical things that make life so hard."

~ Sam Adamson

"Love is...shaving the matted fur from an elderly cat." ~ Sam Adamson

"Love is...fingerless writing gloves." ~ Sam Adamson

"Love is...a bottomless cup of coffee." ~ Sam Adamson

"Love is the regret you can't imagine life without." ~ Bryan Doyon

"Love is a gamble win or lose." ~ Bryan Doyon

"Love is a fantasy that never comes true." ~ Bryan Doyon

"Love is never as good yet better than you had ever hoped for." ~ Bryan Doyon

"Love is ink." ~ Richard Godwin


"Love is showing up with a bouquet of daisies because I remember that they were your favorite flower back when we both were young." ~ Tony Noland

"Love is the best excuse." ~ Trevor Mcpherson

"Love is an itch you can't scratch yourself." ~ Trevor Mcpherson

"Love is the precursor to marriage and other expensive habits."
~ Trevor Mcpherson

"Love is a cheesecake - two forks, no plates." ~ Trevor Mcpherson

"Love is like swimming in warm Thanksgiving gravy." ~ Sean Patrick Reardon


"Love is sitting through "Little Women." ~ Sean Patrick Reardon

"Love is...remedy for the jaded heart" ~ Rob Lundahl

"Love is...unwavering honesty" ~ Rob Lundahl

"Love is...a rope thrown down whilst in the pit of despair" ~ Rob Lundahl

"Love is....life reanimated" ~ Rob Lundahl

"Love is....2ft of snow falling overnight!"~ Rob Lundahl

"Love is....chocolate pudding."~ Rob Lundahl

"Love is...offering the 1st or last bite. Obsession is offering both." ~ Rob Lundahl

"Love is....listening-- when all you REALLY want to do is make them see it your way" ~ Karen Schindler

"Love is....cold hands, warm heart ...and both can make niPPles stand to attention." ~ Karen Schindler


"Love is…like a slushball to the back of the head – cold, sloppy, and gives you a bit of a headache." ~ Laurita Miller

"Love is…settling for spooning when you really wanted a fork." ~ Laurita Miller
(she claims complete innocence in that remark)


"Love is what directly opposes your I.Q." ~ Guy Fishburn

"Love is the only good reason to lose sleep." ~ Guy Fishburn

"Love is conceding the argument when you know you are right." ~ Guy Fishburn

"Love is seeing her beauty in a flannel night gown and pig slippers first thing in the morning." ~ Guy Fishburn

Love is over-thinking for the millionth time what you want to say, rephrasing, cutting and pasting, editing until you're out of rational thoughts - then not having to say any of it aloud because he/she can feel every single one of your unspoken words. ~ Estrella Azul


"Love is a curse, bestowed on mankind by Eros; not knowing it's a curse is part of the curse." ~ David Raffin

"Love is a sad-eyed dog in an alley; no one wants that painting." ~David Raffin

"Love is letting me read the new book first" ~ @jacsmom (on twitter)

"Love is a four-letter word." ~John Wiswell

"Love is...the yin and yang of life." ~ Francesca Stevenson

"Love is...what you hate most sometimes."
~ Francesca Stevenson

"Love is...your everything, everyday, everywhere."
~ Francesca Stevenson

"Love is....why do you ask me? Don't you know?"
~ Francesca Stevenson


"Love is your favorite can of soup. It doesn't do you any good until you open it,
heat it up, serve it up and share it with some one. MMM mmm good!"
~ Guy Fishburn


"Love is a wooden stake and a silver bullet." ~ Tim Vansant

"Love is a popsicle -- lick it until it melts." ~ Linda Simoni-Wastila

"Love is like a horse on a carousel, all up and down, up and down..."

~ Linda Simoni-Wastila

"Love is a box of chocolates filled with nuts, fruit, and cream."

~ Linda Simoni-Wastila

"Love is...communication without saying a word." ~ Kevin Arth
 

"Love is...knowing the right thing to say, and when to say it." ~ Kevin Arth

"Love is...looking into her eyes and feeling that connection to her soul."

~ Kevin Arth

"Love is...giving her that foot rub, even if they've been in hiking boots all day."

~ Kevin Arth
"Love is a giggle in the middle of argument." @storyofmum

"Love is the spark that inspired ALL creation, it's energy dwells within all people and ALL things great and small." ~ Guy Fishburn



"Love is great until it ain't." ~ Linda Simoni-Wastila

"Love is blind; it has a guide dog who is prone to licking." ~ David Raffin



"Love is always a surprise, so much that I'll never be authority on the subject."


"Love is...the last ray of light til the night bathes you in blue light." ~ Justin


"Love is...knowing when it's time to walk away." ~ Karen Schindler


"Love is...mindless reason." ~ Billy Pauley 

"Love is... knowing someone so well you could begin to take them for granted...  and then not doing that." Billy Pauley jr

"Love is something you spend all your life looking for and rely on instinct to discover." Billy Pauley jr

"Love is simple... people are complicated."  Billy Pauley jr










But Love is...forever. I am keeping this up and would LOVE for you to continue to contribute. Either leave a comment below, email me with lovebug in subject line or tweet at me (@jodimacarthur) with hashtag #lovebug. Thank you so much for your openness and vulnerablility. This has been a spontaenous, flash, random, and powerful force of yes, Love. And Yeah, I'll probably reformat all this when I get the chance.






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Love is... what I'm feeling as these variant and wondrous and ponderous one liners pour in. Keep sending in your LOVE IS... Greek Goddesses, Gods, Pirates, Lovebugs and Nerds! And yes, the colors, sizes, and fonts are swirling, twirling before your very eyes as the list grows and Ms. JMac's cluelessness to formatting befuddles her ever-the-more.

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