2/3/11
SA End Of Times Reports:
Using special 7-11 developed icee technology ‘Frosty Snowmans’ have gathered from around the world, using icee guns on SA civilians.
“Apparently,” Frederick Warren Jr. new deputy of Little Yarney, Texas,says, “They aim towards the frontal loburlar parts of the brain systems, causin’ the brainstems to remain intack. Therefore, the body keeps functionin’ like a lizard, but the rest is just nuked. Basically, what I’m tryin to say to ya’ll, is the body goes haywire. And people, start actin’ real strange. Like a zombie. In fact, most of ‘em are now. Zombies, that is. Zombies. The Frosty Apocalypse is upon us.”
Special message from Lowes says, “Board up your windows! 10% off screws. Use tax refund $$$$.” Starbucks is handing out recyclable hand warmers. Jodi Mac is procrastinating choosing a dollar store pen winner. She will be posting sometime tomorrow afternoon. Laredo End Of Times reports three major drug cartels have gathered in peace to discuss the current condition. Shootings have been temporarily called off in the city. Long time resident, Rosalita Gonzales says,"The Frostys are such cold hearted bastards. I do not know where they come from, but they are not welcome in our city. And we will send our people after them."
Temperature is 27 degrees. Weathermen say it may or may not warm up by tomorrow afternoon.
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